Have you ever watched something happen for someone else and wondered “How?” I know I am not the only one who has had experiences where I really needed something to happen. I’ve prayed about it and done all of this leg work behind it and just knew that all of my efforts were going to pay off only to turn around and see that exact thing come to fruition for someeone else. While I expressed joy and excitement for them I would also think “Wow, how did that happen so fast? What did they do differently from me? I wonder if they have any ideas that could help me?”
Truthfully, most of the time the situations where we see things happening for others and not for us has more to do with our journery and not someone else’s. We can talk to that person and say “Hey what did you do to get your home sold so fast?” or “What did you do to get 1,000 followers?” or “How did you find your husband and know that he was the one?” but the steps that they took and the decisions that they made can be shared with us- doesn’t mean that it would work for us. While it’s awesome to share and acquire knowledge, when applying what we’ve learned sometimes that exact blue print that the other person shared may not yield the exact same results that they achieved.
I’ve learned that often times people may not share everything that they had to go through behind the scenes to reach that level of success or to meet that particular goal. Because a lot of the times it’s hard. There are a lot of things they had to struggle through and overcome to get there. There may have been a lot of preparation and work, blood, sweat, tears, doubts, frustrations that they had to endure to reach those results. A great reminder is a message I’ve heard in church where the Pastor says “Don’t be jealous of what others have. You didn’t have to walk through what they walked through to get what they have.” I’ve found this to be so true.
When I started dating my husband, many people would ask me questions about our dating process. They would ask how I knew he was the one. When we got engaged people really started asking more questions about pretty much how I got this man to propose and eventually marry me! I would even find myself encouraging other single friends about how to trust God and how to find contentment in their lives because that’s how it all happened for me. Those were some of the steps I took to prepare myself for my future husband. But exactly how I did what I did may not work for the next person. I could try to explain things step by step but that doesn’t mean it would happen for them exactly as it happened for me by following those steps. Not only that, the hell that I had to walk through to get to where I was at was not something anyone would choose to walk through even knowing the end result. Don’t get me wrong I would choose my husband a million times over again in this life and the next and the next but I know he was meant for me.
What I didn’t know was that I was going to choose to get married at an early age without knowing the importance of seeking God first and secondly, ensuring that the person I was marrying had the same goals in life as I did. I didn’t know that over the course of that marriage I was going to lose my mother, my father, my mother in law, myself. I was going to endure some very tough situations regarding infidelity, physical assault, consistent arguments, anger, unbearable pain, birthing a child without the father being present, long deployments or other separations, raising two kids mostly alone, divorcing with no job and struggling to survive depression. If I had said to the people asking all of these questions about my love life hey this is how you get there… “First you have to go through all of the things that I listed and then tack on several years of being alone yearning, desiring so deeply for God to send you someone to love and to love you that you’ll make really poor decisions in the dating department; decisions that you hope your daughters never make. Then after walking through all of that you’ll eventually get to the good part.” well that wouldn’t be as appealing.
It’s not about how someone does something. It’s more about their personal journey. We all have dreams and goals that we are trying to achieve. For some it’s having a family for others it’s having a career or traveling the country. We may encounter people along the way who motivate and inspire us. We may learn from people about their different experiences or what it took for them to reach their level of success. We can hear about or read about how someone achieved their success or met their goal and we may be able to take certain parts of their journey and apply it to ours. But every step they took will not benefit us because we have to take our own path. Our journey is unique to us. We can overcome different circumstances and obstacles via encouragement from others’ words or examples, but applying what we’ve learned and how we learned it is unique to us.
I have a home that we have been trying to sell and it hasn’t sold. Yet. But I have prayed and believed with so many people on the selling of their home. When we put our home up for sell I was confident that it wouldn’t take long. We had sowed seed and fasted so this home was as good as sold, right? Then the strangest things started to happen. At least three people that I was in relationship with put their home on the market to sell and literally within a day or even a week’s time frame their homes sold. Meanwhile my home is still just sitting there months later. I can’t tell you how many times I rejoiced with them and then had thoughts of “Ok what did we do wrong? What are we missing? How in the world did that happen? Maybe we didn’t put enough work into it?” I mean the thoughts would just start pouring in. But one day I stopped my word spiral and as I prayed God reminded me that I was not on the same path as them. He was doing something different for me and in me and that I just needed to trust the journey that I was uniquely on. He reminded me not to worry about how it happened for them and when it was going to happen for us, but that IT WOULD HAPPEN.
So sometimes instead of focusing on the plan; instead of thinking of what steps we can take or trying to mimic the exact process of others, we need to learn how to remind ourselves that we are on our own separate journey. As we walk our path we can and will pick up different things that may fit into our puzzle but we should not get discouraged by the fact that everything we picked up to use didn’t work exactly how we thought it would work. God tailors certain things specific to each person because He knows us better than we know ourselves. He knows what we need. He knows what set of skills we need to acquire to move forward into the next phase of life. Embrace your unique journey. Ask God for the wisdom and knowledge you need and as He leads you continue to walk your path in confidence knowing whatever it is that you desire IT WILL HAPPEN.