So I took a break from writing my blog just for a little bit just to regroup and reflect. Sometimes in doing things we find ourselves getting burned out or the outcome isn’t quite what we expected so then our confidence wavers.
I’ve had moments when I’ve thought “What’s my purpose with writing this blog today? What’s my goal?” I don’t want to just be writing my thoughts just to be writing. Part of my goal is yes, to get my experiences out there, but the other part of the goal is to touch someone or to motivate someone or more than anything help someone know they aren’t alone.
I’ve walked through so many stages of life where even though I was surrounded by people I felt like not a single person understood the depths of the pain I felt. I still have moments like that right now. So I write to connect with others in hope that they’ll know that they aren’t isolated in what they’re experiencing.
I recently told someone that I was taking a break from my blog because I didn’t know what God wanted me to say. And that’s true. But also confidence in who I was at that time was wavering a little (still is wiggling a little bit but who’s isn’t?). I was balancing a lot. I had been through a scary experience. I was exhausted in ways I hadn’t been in years. Mentally I could hardly get through the day sometimes without crying. And honestly I didn’t think anyone wanted to hear what I had to say anyway.
But it’s in those moments, when you’re unsure….when you don’t know exactly how you feel or what you bring to the table, when you’re in the rawest form of yourself that you should share with others. That’s when you should write and be around people. That’s when people relate to and connect with you the most because it’s the rawness of your life that’s touching the rawness of their soul and telling them that they can make it through another day. Don’t let your uncertainty convince you that there’s still not power inside of you. I’m still reminding myself that people want the transparent version of me not the cookie cutter, put together version. You should remind yourself of that too.
Even when you’re unsure share where you’re at. How else will you move past uncertainty to being absolutely certain? You won’t know until you start actually doing the very thing that you’re afraid of or that’s holding you back. The definition of certain is “known for sure; established beyond doubt”. Some synonyms to accompany that definition are unquestionable, sure, and definite. So we can’t build our confidence, Faith, or certainty in anything without letting go and taking a chance and then once that chance is taken we are standing on something that is unquestionable, sure, established beyond doubt and well that’s my goal: to move from uncertainty in myself to being visibly certain of who God says I am.