Have you ever asked for directions and what the person told you (or that crazy GPS) had you in an area unfamiliar to what you asked for? You’re looking around thinking “Well, I asked for direction or clarity but this isn’t what I thought it’d look like…”
I’ve had experiences where I’ve asked for or prayed for things and it looked totally different from what I visualized. Sometimes it wasn’t so much the question I asked but who I asked the question to. Other times it wasn’t what I prayed for but the lack of clarity that had me sitting back wondering why things didn’t make since.
To say I’ve had a trying few weeks would be an understatement. I’ve had an experience that even now writing this still shocks me but at the same time I’m grateful for. People like me, Type A personalities, always want to be in control and we hate failing. We want to do and get everything right. Often times we are our worst critic. We are so hard on ourselves.
I’ve said so many times that God is in control. But is He really? (Ask yourself that?). He can’t be in control if you’re in control too. He can’t do the things He needs to do in you and through you if you haven’t opened yourself up to Him and released the need to make things happen yourself. You can’t say that God’s in control and still sit around stressing over things in your life that haven’t even happened yet.
I recently lost total control and in the moment it was very scary. After the moment, it’s strange how clear things were. Everything in my mind was dumped out and blank. There was nothing up there. No lists of things to do, no sad thoughts and most importantly none of those negative thoughts were up there either. All of the things that were floating up there in my head that I had convinced myself were true (like…you’re a failure, you can’t do this, you’re always alone, no one listens to me, you’re not being a good parent) all evaporated. And the things that needed to get done without me got done one way or the other. I was sitting around one day and thought “This is what it must be like when you let God be in control.”
When we remove the worry, self doubt, self criticism, other people’s perceptions, worry over decisions, stress over things that aren’t for us to stress about anyway-when we remove our selves from the equation and let it just be God moving in our lives….well we get peace. We get thoughts that focus on His goodness and His will for our lives. We get clarity. We get a release from the one thing holding us back (which is us-we hold ourselves back).
So I’d prayed for direction. I had prayed for clarity. I had prayed for peace. I had prayed for God to guide my steps. I had prayed for freedom from myself to accept God’s will. And what happened didn’t look like any one of those prayers I asked for but they all got answered. When you seek Him and pray- your prayers will be answered at some point or another. But….expect the unexpected because they may come in a way that you think will break you but instead puts you on the road to victory.