How many times do certain situations arise and we make a decision but after we make the decision we make excuses once the outcome doesn’t turn out our way? We often rationalize the time we said something mean about someone or the time we ignored that annoying friend because we weren’t in the mood to listen to them ramble on about the same issue…..again. We try to cover up or make since of the times we didn’t quite do a good job at work or put in our best effort because we see others slacking off. We convince ourselves that someone has said something mean about us so it’s ok that we made that comment. People don’t always answer our phone calls or texts when we are in a time of need so it’s ok to ignore so in so a few times. Your co-worker is getting away with it so why can’t you?
But our actions and choices have consequences, good or bad. When you’ve found out that someone has said something not so nice about you how does it make you feel? Even if that person tries to justify it, it doesn’t take away from that initial sting. What was said may even be true, but if this person values you why would they think that it’s ok to put you down? I have relationships with people who have been circling the same issue repeatedly, some of them for years! And I’ll admit I’ve had moments where I’ve been like “I don’t want to keep talking about this. Why haven’t they moved on?!” Yes, some relationships are draining and there is nothing wrong with feeling overwhelmed by that relationship at times, but what if that person gave up on you? Quit responding to your calls and texts? I am sure that just as they have things that they are struggling with, you too, have things that you have struggled with and needed their guidance with. So what if your co-worker is slacking and not putting forth their best effort. You, one, don’t know what they are dealing with and two, just because someone else is doing it doesn’t make it right for you to do it. You then see this co-worker get promoted and you’re wondering why you’re still getting over looked. What if the boss is aware of the fact that they are struggling and is giving them grace and this person then got promoted because of their work history? The boss knows their potential and has recognized their hard work.
Make a better choice. We have the will power to do so. We have the means to do so but we would rather make the bad decision because it makes us feel better in the moment. You know what I love about God? When He convicts me of my wrong doings. When he convicts me of my mistakes. Why? Because he is giving me a chance to do better, to be better, to grow. And more times than not we feel God pricking us and saying “Don’t do that. Don’t say that. Be kind.” and we will choose to do what makes us feel good in the moment but how do you feel afterwards? Not so good right? Because you know that you should have made the better choice. When we keep choosing the bad behavior over what God is prompting us to do then at some point God will shed light on that bad behavior in a way that is the most uncomfortable way for us. Someone might confront you about what you said or did. That friend that needed you, got tired of being ignored and moved on. Now you’re missing that relationship and you don’t know how to get it back. That co-worker that got promoted had the opportunity to chose a person to add to their team but they noticed that your worth ethic has been poor and choose to put someone on their team that would enhance the team by putting forth the best effort.
Don’t blame other people for the bad decisions that you’ve made. No one made you make them. You made them on your own. One of my favorite scriptures in the bible is Philippians 4:8. In this scripture it tells us that whatever is true, and right, and honorable and lovely to focus on these things. Meaning, whatever is good. Whatever is positive. What ever is encouraging focus on those things. Don’t magnify the negative things that the person is doing. Count it a blessing that you get to speak positive things into someone’s life. That you get the choice between being unkind and kind but you choose kindness. We need each other so let’s all make better choices to love each other. We all have things in life that we are struggling with. No one needs a reminder that they aren’t perfect. So remind yourself of that when it’s time to make that choice.